5 Lies that keep you chained to your ECT - Early Childhood Trauma
Most of us do not even want to acknowledge that we are carrying hurts from the past, but like gravity, we cannot deny that it exists. Subconsciously we try to deal with it, and sometimes it is with a very limited "toolkit" to do so. Maybe you too have fell into the trap of beliefs concerning ECT. Let's explore a few of those mindsets.
1. You do not think about your traumatic experience, so it does not have an effect on you anymore!
Trauma is usually not something that you parade around with on your sleeve, for all to see and comment on. It is seated deep within your psyche. It becomes part of your subconscious fingerprint and without you knowing, it affects every decision that you make. Whether to counteract what you have experienced, to avoid a similar situation or maybe to do the exact same as what you have experienced. Thinking that it has no effect on you, is naïve and can most probably be a form of denial.
2. Trauma has no place in your life, you have moved on!
It sounds so great to firmly denounce its presence in your life and to use that as a springboard to launch yourself into another direction. Denying its rightful place, is like the ostrich burying its head in the sand and thinking that it is a good enough camouflage tactic to avoid being shot or hunted. Denying that you have experienced early childhood trauma, opens up the opportunity for it to surface unannounced in some way that you have not anticipated. You might be battling with a current sickness, an allergy or you might even be diagnosed with a chronic life-threatening disease. That is your body’s way of alerting you to what is invisibly happening on the inside. You might think that you have moved on, but look at the tell-tale signs to see the truth. The fact that everybody walks around with an allergy, does not mean that it is a normal condition. It means that there is some underlying factor that needs to be addressed. You might think that you have “moved” on, your body thinks differently.
3. The moment that you start digging into the past, you do not know what will resurface!
Because of the fear of what might pitch up, you tend to focus on current or future situations. None of us bypass the trauma train. Even if you have no recollection of trauma, somewhere you will remember a time of heartache, a feeling of loss or the stab of rejection. The body will try to protect you at all costs from repeating that situation. When you find that there is a subject that you avoid or that you procrastinate from dealing with, know beforehand that there is a matter that needs to be dealt with. The resurfacing of past experiences need not be as traumatic as you think it to be. When you are triggered by a situation, or you react subconsciously, and you find your behavior interesting, disruptive or destructive, you can be assured that your body is preparing you to deal with the issue. You will find that you will be confronted more and more with the same type of situations, until you take the first steps of getting to the root of the trigger. No matter what resurfaces, you will be better off in the long run. Living in truth means that you take the opportunity to release what has been obscured for a long time. In this manner, you learn much about yourself and you come to a better understanding of your behavior, likes and dislikes. Fearing the reemerging of the past, will keep you subconsciously shackled. Every layer of trauma that can be dissolved, will release you into a more free version of yourself.
4. It is better to leave the past in the past!
As seen in the above reasoning, fear of the unknown will keep you living the shadow version of yourself. The moment that you change your perspective around trauma, you can deal with it in a more balanced way. In every situation that you encounter in life, you learn something. It is a fact gathering journey. Some experiences you would like to explore further, others you would not like to repeat. If someone treats you with disdain or disrespect, you know that you do not like to feel that way. By uncovering a traumatic experience, you get the opportunity to see what you decided in that moment of hurt. A belief was formed in those moments of harsh pain, unkindness or abuse. Maybe it could be something like “never trust anyone close to you”, or “all leaders are corrupt”. By “leaving the past in the past”, you miss the opportunity to learn more about yourself and you deny yourself spiritual growth. On this journey, authentic growth is perpetual change. Keeping the past in the past, will keep you treading water in one place. The slow train to nowhere.
5. You will never be able to deal with trauma fully!
Says who? Are those the voices in your head talking, or is that a belief that was formed by repeating a pattern of thinking? If that conversation in your head has someone else's voice, what makes them the current expert on the subject of you? It might be a parent, a caregiver or a teacher who's voice echoes through your mind. You can decide if it is true for you, or not! Misinformation is at the root of so many dysfunctional beliefs. Unfortunately, not many of us take the opportunity to question our thoughts or beliefs. We tend to think that “things are as they are” and it is accepted as fact and that is it! Many times, we do not even acknowledge what our underlying thoughts are. We override how we feel and how we think, with the way that we are “supposed” to feel and the way we are “supposed” to think! There are many proven ways of reframing situations and thoughts that are not beneficial to us. I use EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique), MR (Matrix Re-imprinting) and NLP Neuro Linguistic Programming to change beliefs, thought patterns and to build new neuron pathways. By dealing with the trauma in a Tri-Une manner, the subconscious, physical and spiritual level, you achieve results that give you the outcome that you so desire. You only need to find the modality that works for you. Make your own decisions, and make sure that they are made with loads of information at your disposal.
When one has experienced any hurt or trauma as a child, the last thing that you want to do is to revisit the trauma over and over again. I know that talk therapy might help some, whereas there are other methods that can be considered that have life-altering effects and that can bring about emotional freedom painlessly. You do not have to revisit your trauma over and over. You do not have to lose out on living life unencumbered and free. You too can enjoy the freedom that EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) offers. Take the first step, make the leap! .....Your future depends on YOU!!